Believing

My younger self didn't understand  a lot of things. For instance, it baffled his tiny little mind that the green arrows in the car always knew which way we were going to turn. He told himself that it was magic, and that it was telling mommy and daddy which way to go to get home. He could escape to anywhere he wanted, all he had to do was believe and pretend he was there. He thought that he had superpowers, the ability to hear through solid doors, and the ability to make everything dance when he blinked one eye at a time. He thought that if he believed hard enough, he could be Spider-Man and climb up walls, shoot webs out of his hands and save the world. He was always believing that he was incredible, that he was the most amazing, creative, super powered, loved little seven year-old in the world. When he was eight, his mommy and daddy told him that they didn't love each other anymore. This was another thing he didn't understand. He was told everything was going to be alright, and that they just wouldn't be together anymore. He took a picture with his siblings and his dad, and another with his mom. From then on, he went from parent to parent, house to house, school to school, he never understood why these things were happening. As the years went by, he lost his super powers, he lost the magic, he lost his escapes. All he had left was the ability to believe he was loved.

Money Magic

Money seems to be a recurring concept on this blog huh? Anyway, I realized that money used to be a magical thing that no mere child could grasp within their own lifetime. Money was like pixie dust, even getting a quarter for a gumball was like winning the lottery. I remember when I was about 7 years old I was given 10 whole dollars.

 I had never had that much money in my hand before, 10 was a big number right? So with my shattered concept of money I thought it was safe to assume that this money would never run out. Later that day after I had bought a pack of gum and a soda. (Felt like I should treat myself, seeing as how this money would never run out.) I realized I had 4 dollars left. That is when I had my childish concept of money was destroyed in an instant.

I realized that money isn't infinite, and being only 7 at the time I knew it would take a miracle to make that money back up, and as I enter my 15th year I realize that money has lost its child-like magic, while at the same time it has gained a new magic. The new magic while not nearly as wondrous as the first is more along the lines of: THIS CAN NEVER RUN OUT. I NEED THIS TO BE HAPPY.